its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
You ruined the universe
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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