O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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