what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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