i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
This is my gift to your gina
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
