Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
