**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I want her autograph on my taint
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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