Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
