Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
