You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Me too!
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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