Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
