That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
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