Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
