rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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