he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
