he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
