You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
