Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
