It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
