Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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