Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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