Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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