I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
