I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
