**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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