For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
