whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
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