If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
