Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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