I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
