Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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