So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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