I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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