his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
