Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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