How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
