Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
