I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
