I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
