i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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