My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
