I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
