TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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