and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
