4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
If I die, sorry about rent.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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