I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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