that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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