Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
