I'm eating all of the evidence.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize