Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
