is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize