every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
