You're a womanizer and a bitch.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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