Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
