At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
