3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I want a musical about memes.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
