I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
