I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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